Sitting On The Moon
by Ardvari
Summary: Funny, how far apart they could be while they were in the same room.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not even a car. I certainly don't own CSI.

Sitting on the moon

She carefully wrapped her scarf around her neck, pulled her hair out of her collar and zipped up her light jacket. It was a cool night, as cool as it could possibly get in Las Vegas but definitely cooler than the tourists expected it to be. She smiled at the thought of the tourists who hadn't thought to bring their jackets and would wander along the strip at night, shivering in the cool wind blowing in from the mountains. She didn't feel bad for them; she'd had to learn her lesson the hard way, too.

Sara opened the front door and stepped out into the cool night. On some days, when she stepped outside and inhaled the fresh air, she thought she could almost smell the ocean. She loved the ocean, missed it and almost, almost regretted having relocated to the desert, a dry ocean of sorts. She wondered where she'd be at now, in her life, would she have never left California. Then again, she'd come to like Las Vegas, as much as one could possibly like a city that was made for tourists. It had its bonuses. Where else could you go shopping in the middle of the night?

She checked to see if she had turned off all the lights before the door slammed shut, almost catching her scarf between door and frame. An orange glow hung over the city as she pulled into the moving traffic and turned towards the airport. She felt almost giddy at the thought of driving towards him. He was coming back. Despite the fact that Nick had thought Grissom would stay on the east Coast and her own fear that he may not come back to her, he was on his way. And, more importantly, he had called to ask if she would come pick him up. Maybe this was a first step back into the comfort and bliss they had shared a while ago. Maybe this was a first, small step back to normality; maybe this meant that he wanted her in his life. Something she hadn't been sure about until he'd called her and asked her to come and told her that he needed her. Sara wasn't willing to get her hopes up just yet. She had been mad and upset and yes, she had cried, in his townhouse, the day after he'd left. Still, this was Grissom, he couldn't be measured by the standards she measured other people with; he wasn't a people person, showing emotion didn't come easy to him. She had to savor the few odd moments in which he did let her in and he'd promised to make those happen more often. She needed to believe that.

As if pulled by a string, she made her way into the airport and towards the area in which he would arrive. She got herself a cup of tea, unwrapped her scarf and stood leaning against the far wall. Listening to the sound of the slot machines that had invaded the airport as well as the rest of the city, she watched the screen to see when Grissom's plane would land. Sara wasn't a big fan of slot machines everywhere, of tourists that dropped their suitcases and backpacks next to the nearest machine and spent their first few hours in the colorful desert metropolis tempting fate at the airport.

How could they go home to tell friends and family that they had been to Vegas when they hadn't even seen the city, only stared at the slot machines in front of them? Personally, she preferred the calm, semi- dark desert over the brightly lit city.

The screen overhead blinked to life, revealing the new arrivals. His plane was one of them. Sara smiled, threw the empty Styrofoam cup into the trash and crossed her arms in front of her chest. The bright overhead lights caught in her hair, turning it a shade of auburn when he stepped through the automatic doors. Grissom saw her immediately and a shy, happy smile flashed across his face. She grinned as well, unable to keep the smile off of her face. She wasn't sure what she was smiling about just yet, though.

He stepped in front of her and dropped his carry-on bag on the ground next to them. She pushed herself off the wall, almost, but not quite, bumping into him. He snuck his hand around hers and squeezed it gently.

"Hi." he said softly.

"Hi." she replied.

He leaned closer and pressed a kiss to her lips. Sara smiled into the kiss and chuckled.

"What?" he asked confused after he broke the kiss.

"Nothing."

They waited for his luggage in silence. Every once in a while they looked at each other, smiled and turned back to the luggage belt carting suitcase after suitcase past them with a whiny hum.

Sara drove them to the townhouse. She'd stayed there while he'd been gone, trying to make up her mind of whether she was going to move her stuff back to her apartment or stay and wait for him to tell her whether _he_ wanted her there once he got back. She'd kept putting it off until he had called her and asked her to come pick him up. Then she had decided to stick around. They needed to talk; they needed to figure out their future, if it would be their future or if they would go their separate ways.

She pushed the door to the townhouse open and he noticed that he was the owner of a plant now. He wasn't sure if he could keep the plant alive himself, botany wasn't his strong suit. Maybe Sara would be willing to help him care for the plant. He turned to look at her as she moved around the house to turn some of the lights on. She seemed so at home and at the same time out of place, unsure if she belonged here. He sighed, carrying his suitcases into the bedroom. He started to unpack, putting his things back in the drawers, next to the few things that belonged to her. Sara quietly stepped into the room, leaning against the doorframe.

"I'm… gonna head… home." she said, her voice sounding strained.

She forced a smile onto her face. He turned to her, both surprised and not.

"I thought this was home." he said, his voice sounding equally as strained.

Sara crossed her arms in front of her chest once more, looking him open in the eyes. "Is it?" she asked quietly.

Her head was resting against the cool, smooth wood of the doorframe; it was as if she needed the frame to keep herself upright. He turned towards her fully now and scanned her face. She looked tired and the old despair and hopelessness had returned into her eyes. Those emotions he had last seen on the day she'd told him about her family. He wondered if it really had just been his own misjudgment that made her feel the way she did. Probably. Most definitely, actually.

He thought back to the day a little more than a month ago, when she'd come 'home' a little earlier than expected and he had been packing for his trip. She hadn't known about the trip and even though she tried to hide how hurt she was, he could tell how much he'd hurt her by the stale coolness she'd treated him with ever since.

He stared at her, not knowing what to say. He knew she was slipping away from him with each passing moment.

"Stay, please." he finally managed and she hung her head.

"Are you sure Grissom? Really sure? Because I don't think I can take this little game of yours any longer. You reel me in and then you push me away and you keep doing that and I can't handle it." she said quietly and wiped at her face, angry at herself for letting a tear slip down her carefully guarded façade.

Angry at him for making her cry, again. Grissom, too, hung his head.

"I'm sorry Sara. I was… I needed… some time and space. I needed to… clear my head." he tried to explain, shrugging as if to get rid of a kink in his shoulder.

"God you could have **told** me Gris. Would it have been so hard to tell me you were leaving? What would have happened if I hadn't found you packing? Would you have even told me? Did you think I wouldn't notice that you were gone? I would just wake up each morning thinking 'Hm, something seems odd?'"

She was getting angry now, her voice getting louder, her eyes throwing sparks. Not the good kind of sparks. He cringed. This wasn't how he had planned for this to go. She was slowly slipping into a state of rage where reasoning with her could potentially be fatal.

"I was planning on telling you. I always seemed to miss the right opportunity. God Sara I was burning out. I wasn't running away from you. Maybe I left to give you the chance to rethink if you really, truly wanted to be with me." he said loudly.

"Oh fuck, Gris, don't turn this around on me. You knew I wanted to be with you ever since we met. You **knew** because I told you. I love you, you idiot!" she yelled.

She was truly upset now and he stood there, in front of her, amazed at what she'd just said.

"You've never said that before." he blurted.

"Well, neither have you." Sara answered sarcastically.

She whipped around and marched into the living room, throwing herself on the couch. She was angry and hurt and disappointed and she wanted to leave, let him steep in the mess he'd gotten himself into. Instead, she sat on the couch, pouting like a child, her bottom lip quivering slightly. When had this gotten so difficult? Could such a brilliant man be so incredibly dense? She felt like she was sitting on the moon, far away from him and unable to communicate with him.

Sara sensed him walking into the room; she didn't even have to look up. It made her sad to think how close they were, how good they were together and yet how far apart they were at the moment. Grissom had his hands stuffed in his pockets, standing in the middle of the room. He watched her for a moment, then walked over and kneeled in front of her.

"I love you, too." he whispered, his hands on her knees.

She looked at him, her eyes glazed over slightly.

"Then show me Gil. Just… don't keep pushing me away. It hurts. Do you have any idea how much it hurts?"

He took her hands in his and planted feathery kisses on her fingers.

"I didn't mean to push you away. I meant to make this whole thing easier for us, give you a choice, you know? If you had left I could blame myself for it, not you."

"Why do you want me to leave so badly? Have I ever left you?" she asked sorrowfully.

He shook his head.

"You're young and you're beautiful and you deserve so much better." he explained, still holding on to her hands.

"Well, you better start getting it through your head that I don't want any better, I don't care about this mysterious 'better' you keep yapping about. I'm quite content with what I have and I'm not going anywhere."

Sara was calming down slowly. He was just trying to protect himself from potential heartache and even though he had caused her grief, she started to get his point. He wasn't a people person, she knew that, hell, did she ever know that. They had that in common. Opening up to her had been the biggest risk he had taken in a long time and he was scared of being let down by her.

He leaned his head against their clasped hands and sighed.

"I will not go anywhere, Gil." she emphasized softly, stroking his hand with her thumb. They sat like that until his knees started to protest, at which point he joined her on the couch, laid down and cradled her to his chest. He could smell her shampoo, a faint whisper of grapefruit, just strong enough for him so pick it up.

"I missed you. I really did. I kept thinking about us going for walks in the snow, sitting in front of the fireplace. I dreamt about you a lot."

He wrapped his arms around her tighter and kissed her hair.

"I missed you, too." she whispered contently.

He shuffled around, making her look up at him. His expression was serious, as if he was thinking about a case and she raised her eyebrow in anticipation of what he could possibly want to say.

"Move in with me. I mean, completely. Get rid of your apartment and move in, furniture, books and all. We can redecorate. We can get curtains and some new furniture. Just… move in, will you? That way your plant will have a chance of survival."

He watched as a small smile tucked away in the corners of her mouth spread into a full-fledged, gap-toothed grin.

"Actually, my lease is running out next month. I… didn't renew it. It was either here with you or alone in California, you know? Decision's going to be here with you… and that poor plant, I suppose." she quipped and moved in to kiss him.

He was slightly shocked for a moment, thinking how, once again, he'd _almost_ lost her, then he smiled and returned the kiss.

"Just… don't paint the walls purple, please, honey." He stated matter-of-factly and she laughed.

"Deal."

Sara winked and leaned forward to kiss him again. The ocean could wait, could possibly wait eternally. The deep blue pools of his eyes were as close to the ocean as she needed to be at the moment.

- The End


End file.
